How to Spark Real Conversations With Your Preschooler
If you’ve ever asked your child “How was your day?” and received “Good” or the dreaded “I don’t know,” (ahhhh!) you’re not alone! Young children don’t process and recall events the same way adults do. Their memory is more like little snapshots than a full movie reel. They’ll often remember moments that were funny, exciting, or emotional… but not the entire day in order.
The good news? With the right kinds of questions, you can help unlock those snapshots and hear more of the story. Research shows that when parents ask open-ended, specific questions, kids recall more details and even build stronger memory and language skills over time.
✨ Did you know? Children remember up to 3x more details when asked specific, open-ended questions instead of yes/no ones. (Fivush & Reese, 2006)
Here are some fun, research-backed prompts to try at pick-up, dinner, or bedtime:
Questions That Unlock Feelings
What made you smile today?
Was there something that made you feel proud?
Did anything surprise you?
Questions That Invite Storytelling
Who did you sit next to at snack/lunch?
What was the silliest thing that happened?
Did you learn a new song or story today? Can you show me?
(Why it works: Specific cues like “who” and “what” trigger episodic memory—the little snapshots of their day.)
Questions That Highlight Play & Learning
Which work (or toy) did you choose first?
Did you build something, paint something, or sing something?
What game did you play outside?
✨ Research highlight: Asking children to talk about routines helps strengthen their recognition memory, which is easier for preschoolers than recalling broad events.
Questions That Strengthen Connection
If you could do one part of today again, what would it be?
Did you help a friend, or did a friend help you?
Who made you laugh the most?
✨ Pro Tips for Parents
Pick the right moment. Many kids need some downtime before they’re ready to talk. Try car rides, bath time, or bedtime.
Keep it playful. Try: “Tell me two silly things and one serious thing from today.”
Go first. Kids mirror us—if you share something about your day, they’re more likely to open up.
At the end of the day, remember: you’re not just gathering information—you’re giving your child practice with storytelling, memory, and emotions. That quick conversation at bedtime is doing more than you think.
✨ Parent-friendly stat: Just 5 minutes of daily “reminiscing talk” with your child can improve their memory and vocabulary long-term.
At the end of the day, we know how hard it is to be away from your child for 4–6 hours and want to know every detail. These prompts won’t replace being there, but they can bring you a little closer to your child’s world here at CMCH. We hope this gives you new ways to spark meaningful conversations, and happy chatting!
